Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 216 total)
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  • #164333
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Sandi,CC and Jane thanks for your support. I think I passed that test. I decided to stay home .I have no problem with alcohol but I don’t want to screw my brain again..I preferred to stay focused on my recovery.I neither drank or used and I stayed away people who are even drinking.I didnot enjoy myself but the goal is worth it.my sponsor helped alot.She insisted on not using any substance because ,in her opinion,I won’t resist the temptation.Actually it’s funny how our sick minds play tricks.I think I tried my own way and it failed so it’s time to try other ways.This is a complete revolution in my thinking.I never thought that I would survive the holiday seasons.Sandi,ya I have come too far to go back to using.I know that I’m ready to do whatever it takes to stay clean.I can’t start all over again every day and I’m really sick of being sick.I have to start acting ina responsible way .
    Love
    Jane

    #164467
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Jane –

    Haven’t been here for a few days, but I am SOOO glad you are doing so good. It is amazing how our thinking changes when we really want recovery. I spent New Year’s Eve at work (24-hour-restaurant) watching a lot of drunks, some passing out, and realized how glad I was that I wouldn’t be feeling like crap the next day.

    Keep up what you’re doing….you are doing great!

    Hugs and prayers!

    Amy

    #164497
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Jane, that is fantastic……. I knew you could do it, and that you were strong and brave….. thinking of you and much love

    #164334
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I have 24 days clean and still counting.I can’t believe that I am really doin it.Yesterday was my worst day ever.I faced some really bad cravings and I couldnot foucs on anything but drugs.It had been along time since I felt that bad but I decided that I give myself sometime and not use mean whille.Now I feel pretty good and amzing actually.I never thought before taht I can pull through cravings.It seesm that I am dealing well with it this time.I am getting away from people and places.Now cherish my rcovery more and more after what I went through.I hope that I don’t have to go ever back again.I’m taking it easy one day at time because that’s all what I got.I ‘ll go nuts if I eep thinking about tomorrow………….I love you all guys.
    Hugs

    #164468
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    (((Jane)))

    You are sounding so great! I’m really proud of you!

    You did an awesome job getting through the cravings….they get less as time goes by.

    Hugs and prayers!

    Amy

    #164388
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    {{jane}} Day-24!!! :Dance7: SWEET!!!!
    Keep doing the right thing and taking it day by day!! You are doing awesome and sounding so much more positive!!
    {{HUGS}}
    Jane

    #164335
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Day-30!!I am soo happy.I am doing it somehow.One day at a time.Most of all,I am grateful that I am still alive .I have been living with so much frustration that all my days sounded black and gloomy.Now even my blue days are better than the way I was living before.
    Tenn,your in my prayers.Hang in girl.
    Thanks guys for your support.:day4
    Love
    Jane

    #164469
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    WAY TO GO ON 30 DAYS!!!! I’m really proud of you!

    Hugs and prayers!

    Amy

    #164389
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    {{{{jane}}}}

    Isn’t it amazing what being clean does for us? The ability to think things through and to learn not to let the bad times take us over!! I am so proud of you and CONGRATS on 30-days!!! You are doing this!!!
    {{HUGS}}
    Jane

    #164488
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Way to go Jane!!!!!

    #164440
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Congrats on your 30 days! It is a miracle, isn’t it. I’m very happy for you.
    Keep doing what you’re doing 😉

    #164336
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I have 35 days clean but things are becoming messy.I really donn know what’s goin on with me.I started hanging out with people whoa are still in active addiction.I thought that I was safe and secure.I was happy for my recovery but still struggling with the idea that one more time won’t do me any harm.
    Yesterday,aguy who was still in active addiction called and said that he wants to see me.I told him to meet me in a pub.I wanted to have a vodka drink.He asked me wether I should go these places but I said that I wanted to.However,for many reasons he couldnot stay for more than 15 minutes .Yet these 15 minutes were more than enough to trigger cravings.He was so high on H and we ddinot discuss anything but our DoC.I went home and my mind was set on using depsite the fact that it was 10 pm.I was torn in between losing my clean and using one more time.I ended up calling him and he begged me not to use and to call someone .He reminded me that I have reached so far not to go back to square one.I then thought of delaying using till tomorrow.I think God works in strange ways because I ended up not using.I am proud of what I am doing but I just miss my old life.I feel like an old woman.I can’t enjoy anything I am doing.I used to be hyper and full of life .Sorry for rambling but I feel so down.

    #164489
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    First off, Jane, good job not using. As far as feeling like an old lady, if you mean physically, your body is probably still adjusting. Same with the depression.

    Secondly, please stay away from people in active addiction.

    #164470
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    (((Jane)))

    Good for you, for not using. It takes a lot more than 35 days to figure out how to enjoy life again without drugs. At 10 months clean, I don’t think about using again, but I do sometimes wonder “is this all there is”. My life was so chaotic that it’s taking time to get used to (and comfortable with) calm. My life IS a lot better, and I know I can’t use “just one more time” because I won’t stop.

    I agree with cc – please stay away from people who are active. I won’t go around anyone using because I don’t want to tempt myself.

    Hugs and prayers!

    Amy

    #164453
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Jane, I’m really proud of you girl.

    Keep up the good work, stay away from people places things, don’t think too much, easy does it, one day at a time, go to meetings, work the steps, call people in the program, call your sponsor, all that good stuff.

    And above all, don’t drink or use. If there’s any one thing I’ve told you that you MUST believe me about, it’s this: You WILL NOT be able to use opiates one time and then go back to this clean path you’ve been on. It WILL NOT HAPPEN that way. If it was pot or maybe even booze, I might give it a SMALL chance that it would be a one time thing (emphasis on SMALL chance) but I’m telling you … it WILL NOT work that way if you get high on opiates again. You will be off to the races again, for who knows how long.

    PLEASE do not kid yourself on this one, kid. Enough of us around here have tried the little experiment you’ve described to KNOW the outcome.

    The only sure-fire way to avoid a return to active addiction is to not pick up that first drug. And that is THE ONLY WAY sweetie.

    Again, I’m proud of you Jane. And things will get better, it just takes a bit longer than you’re giving it to really get used to sobriety, make new friends, develop new interests, etc. But trust me, it’s WORTH IT. Especially since the REAL alternative … it is NOT ‘fun’, and ‘partying with friends’, etc, but it is rather: jails, institutions, and death. Don’t confuse what your real options are here…

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