- This topic has 7 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 5 months ago by Anonymous.
- September 19, 2013 at 11:55 pm#31025AnonymousInactive
I don’t have a sponsor and need one.
any advice about who to look for and what expectations i should have?
i can be a pretty clingy person (wooo i hate that about myself) and i don’t want to be a burden yet if i need someone i don’t want to call them in a crisis and feel like perhaps i’m interrupting them.
should i try to find a female sponsor? should i ask questions?
hey….if someone is going to help me get through this and i believe what i’ve been told (a sponsor is necessary), i want the right person because i’m a handful!
surely boundaries are probably set up front….right?
help me out, okay?September 20, 2013 at 12:26 am#161410AnonymousInactive
I think that your step group will insist on a female sponser…… those be the rules, from what I understand.
Being interrupting is something that all sponsers know is going to happen to them ..
I won’t worry about that.
They say sponsers aren’t marrige counsellors, they’re not anyone’s personal ATM,
there not a taxi service and so on.
Good luck MO. Keep posting!September 20, 2013 at 12:45 am#161408AnonymousInactive
Look for someone who has good quality clean time who comes to meetings regularly and shares.
Look for someone who seems content with their life and shows a positive attitude.
Look for someone who is also working The Steps . All 12 Steps preferably, but if someone is not available with practical experience on working all 12 Steps then at least look for someone who has at least worked the first 5.
Look for someone who themself has a sponsor.
Look for a sponsor of the same gender as you.
A sponsor exists PRIMARILY to help you through The Steps, so whatever Step your sponsor is on she will be able to take you as far as the Step they they are on.
Get a copy of the sponsorship pamphlet and read it.September 20, 2013 at 12:48 am#161409AnonymousInactiveSeptember 20, 2013 at 1:36 am#161411AnonymousInactive
Does this mean you decided to go with the 12 Step group you wrote the thread about a couple days ago?September 20, 2013 at 3:42 am#161413AnonymousInactive
peter….didn’t know such a pamplet exsist — i’ll check it out. thank you.
doug, yes i am going to the 12 step group. it’s a 12 step group from celebrate recovery — so i’m sure it’s basically the same program except from a more bibical point of view…..i guess???? i’ve only been to two classes and we’ve really not got to step one yet.
may i confess something? (oh no…nothing bad) but i have a hearing disability and i don’t have a hearing aid so it is very, very hard to hear what others are saying. i can hear the leader ok but i’m not hearing alot of what the other 15 people in the room are saying. i’m concerned that i’ll not be able to participate as much as i hope to or that i’ll miss something said that i really need to hear.
so….i’m thinking about just telling the group that i can’t hear very good just so they will know. the saying, “deaf & dumb” are kind of true. i appear very dumb when i don’t respond or my response is some where out in left field!
this is important so, i hope to have the courage to tell them.
sounds so simple, doesn’t it????? but it’s not.September 20, 2013 at 3:53 am#161414AnonymousInactive
Female addicts have female sponslors. i believe that it is a given so there won’t be any gossip about relationships evolving out of a addict/sponsor bond. You can call your sponsor anytime and don’t feel as though you are interrupting. That’s why there are sponsors. A sponsor knows what they are signing up for. a sponsor will be there for whatever the reason. You will com to rely on that person for daily advice and if there was to be a crisis your sponsor will help you through it or steer you to another professional. I respect and dearly love my sponsor. She is my best friend in the world as well as my confidant…………….VikiSeptember 20, 2013 at 3:59 am#161412AnonymousInactive
I would definitely tell them about your hearing, when you’re comfortable of course. It will help them bridge that gap as well as it will you. 😉
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