- This topic has 21 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 2 months ago by Anonymous.
- August 29, 2012 at 6:41 pm#27751AnonymousInactive
I am a full time student and have promised my hus I wont drink or drug anymore(our agreement) but evertime I am in class, I think about asking my classmate to hook me up..I love smoking pot it is like down time where I can just enjoy whatever is around me…however, now that I am not I feel better have more energy and motivation to do healthier things with my life.
then of all things I watch a documentary on Bob Marley and damn want to smoke again I get so many mixed messages wether it is ok or not. Believe me I can think of a hundred reasons why I should (justicication) and the only tool I remember is asking god to keep me clean and sober ..and the serenity prayer ..but i feel like i am missing something that no one else is…why is this such a struggle for me..things in my life are ok, my hus and kids are great..why do I keep having these thoughts.
“Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.”
â€” Lao Tzu
Self-respect is the fruit of discipline: the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.
â€” Abraham Heschel
“The first and best victory is to conquer self.”
â€” PlatoAugust 29, 2012 at 7:23 pm#107894AnonymousInactive
i can take it or leave it. smoking it just makes me paranoid nowadays so i don’t smoke no mo.August 29, 2012 at 7:49 pm#107909AnonymousInactive
I can relate to you — weed’s always been my drug of choice — it’s addictive for me. It’s been awhile. If I had the chance … well, I probably wouldn’t now. I think weed’s affected my brain long-run, long-term.
But if you hook up lemme know (j/k). :hypnotizeAugust 29, 2012 at 9:43 pm#107906AnonymousInactive
We usually call that the “Marijuana Maintenance Program” not Real Sobriety.
And yes..Marijuana is a mind altering DRUG so you would not be clean and it is terribly addictive..The mere fact that one is thinking about it all the time and trying to figure out how to get it is a pretty good indicator..Someone who wasn’t addicted could take it or leave it and probably wouldn’t buy it.August 29, 2012 at 9:54 pm#107895AnonymousInactive
I dunno. I think medical mary jane has a place in the world. The way I look at reefer is that if it doesn’t negatively affect work/family/life then no big deal. But that’s just me…..and I’m pretty much an idiot.August 29, 2012 at 10:18 pm#107910AnonymousInactive
Absolutely. Don’t want to suggest otherwise.
Especially for those of us addicted to it. It’s said MJ’s not addictive. I know lots of people who’d disagree.
Quitting weed was far harder for me to quit than alchohol . . .August 29, 2012 at 10:22 pm#107911AnonymousInactive
And while I’m also pretty much an idiot
having posted above a mealy-mouthed reply
But, having quit alcohol,
would ever I pick up weed
ever again.August 30, 2012 at 1:13 am#107893AnonymousInactive
why do i want to keep smoking pot?
Perhaps because you are experiencing a symptom of addiction called “Obsession”
Marijuana, Ganja or as Bob liked to call it “Kaya” is a highly underrated drug.
I know more people with “unmanagable lives” who are hooked on weed than I know alcoholics or other types of drug addicts.
If you can find some way to break this obsession you have with m.j I pray you do it soon.August 30, 2012 at 1:18 am#107907AnonymousInactive
For me, the desire to indulge is merely to go through the motions (bust up a bud, roll a doobie, huff it up). Having smoked it most of my life I have come to love the ritual. I was always able to stop any time I wished, and did many times over the years, but I always came back to it.
At this point I don’t like the buzz anymore and I haven’t touched it in almost a year now, but I am still around it almost daily through family and friends who still smoke it. The desire is still there, but again only for the ritual, not the buzz. For a couple years before I decided it was no longer for me I would take a toke on occasion as it was passed around, but 5 minutes later I found myself eagerly waiting for it to wear off so I could be social again (it makes me agoraphobic and just plain stupid since my battle with the tranqz and pain meds), which is what prompted me to quit all together.
I don’t have any more urges to reach for it when it is in the room. I still enjoy the smell though, which is much better when you are not smoking it IMO. I also am saving a lot of money, thats for sure. Now I always have a tooth pick on hand and I also smoke an occasional cigar.August 30, 2012 at 3:53 am#107900AnonymousInactive
Pot never did much for me. The first few times I tried it as a kid I though it was fun but after that it just made me feel self-absorbed and stupid. And I don’t need any help with that . . . .
I don’t envy anyone I know who is a chronic pot smoker. Most seem to have emotional problems and “gummy synapses.” IMHO it really stunts your emotional and spiritual growth.
My DOC was hydrocodone and although I think I might like to use on occasion I’ve come to realize that there is no chance for “moderate” or recreational use. I’ve concluded that I’m really not interested in it any more and I think of it as part of my past that I am glad is over.
Life has lots of other excitements and highs without pot or meds. If you focus on achieving personal growth you’ll find it a lot more rewarding (anf challenging, sometimes) than copping a buzz . . . . It really is a state of mind.
– BuzzAugust 30, 2012 at 4:03 am#107905AnonymousInactive
Pot was never my DOC but, one thing i DO know personally, is that for me, it gives me a huge case of the F-its. When I was stoned, I didnt care about much, and my willpower went to zero, as well as anything that stopped me from doing any other drug.
I know in my recovery I need to keep my mind clean and healthy. Its a hard enough battle for me when Im not all fogged up. I wont chance it.August 30, 2012 at 5:50 am#107903AnonymousInactive
Ya know, I ask myself the same question. But yet… still dont have the answer to it.
If you find it, let me know. I’m trying to stop smoking pot too. It’s not even fun anymore! I get really anxious, self-concious, and worst of all… quiet AND boring!
Ugh… who knows…August 30, 2012 at 2:15 pm#107896AnonymousInactive
The stuff makes me paranoid as hell nowadays. If I smoke then I wanna go hide under the bed.August 30, 2012 at 3:14 pm#107899AnonymousInactive
My comments below are exactly that, comments. I am a former addict that has no training whatsoever.
My name is Bob and I am a former drug addict. I smoked pot for 37 years. Daily for over 30 years. Admission to, and wanting to do something about your addictions are the hard part in my opinion.
Before I came to Treatment Addiction Centers I would have said pot is not addictive. However, reading your life story written, and lived by others is a very powerful thing.
Pot was my DOC. I had been self employed and managed to keep up a successful, trouble free front for everyone around me.
I had always thought that smoking pot was no big deal. Being self employed kept me from the drug tests and allowed me to hide in my own little world. And hiding from the world was exactly what I was doing.
Getting the pot smoking out of my life sixteen months ago was THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE.
I have now hired others to run my small business and I have gone to work in the corporate world. I now work for one of the top five brands in the country. I have the best benefits I have ever had, and the pay, well lets just say that I have never made more money than I am now.
Get rid of the weed you have left. Get rid of related items too, papers, pipes. Stay away from those who tempt you to smoke. After you quit you will find that most of your pot smoking friends will stop calling you. Is this because you remind them of their own shortcomings (addictions)? Maybe.
You are the only one that can decide how to get clean and stay that way. Being able to cope with daily problems, and being comfortable with yourself is important. Some people have great success with AA, NA, or other 12 step programs for this very reason
Myself, I relied on a strong will, support of my wife, and Treatment Addiction Centers. This is a decision only you can make. My way is probably not the recommended way for most folks, but it worked for me.August 30, 2012 at 9:00 pm#107908AnonymousInactive
Along with pot smoking comes those who smoke it, this is true. I have separated myself from many who live and breath it. I now find that I am bored hanging with them and would rather get off my a$$ and do something besides revolve my life around it.
I do still have friends and family that indulge, but they know my situation and respect it completely. I have told them “If I ask for it, Don’t give it to me” and though I have not asked I know they would oblige and refuse.
The friends I have separated from on the other hand would not only give it to me in a heart beat, they would coax me into it saying “Oh, All you need is a beer and joint and you’ll feel better”. If you have friends and family members like this stay away from them.
I also agree that you need to clear your premises of all paraphernalia….no need for it if you don’t want to smoke. If you have friends and family who still do then they can supply their own when they are around. If they really care about you then they will make the effort.
What you need to do to remain clean is remember what you said yourself, which was “now that I am not I feel better have more energy and motivation to do healthier things with my life.” That and the fact that you made a promise to your husband. Respect him and respect yourself. Also, being you are a full time student I think you will be surprised at how much better you will be able to concentrate, how much more involved you will become in class and even extra curriculum.
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